An increasing number of over 50s couples are separating, even divorcing.

The issues facing couples over 50 can be quite unique, confusing, and at times, overwhelming.

More than two–thirds of these types of divorces are initiated by the wife and many do so because of SPOUSAL ABUSE.

It often takes many years, if at all, for victims to realize they are being abused.

Anyone can be a victim of domestic violence, regardless of age, race, gender, sexual orientation, faith or class.

Domestic abuse may culminate in serious physical injury or tragically, death.

DOMESTIC ABUSE or “domestic violence” or “intimate partner violence”, is behavior in a relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner.

Spousal abuse can be physical emotional, psychological, physical, economic or sexual.

In most cases, divorce in the over 50s couples is because of emotional abuse.

Many victims finally realize they are in an abusive relationship, and a percentage of such victims find the strength to end their marriages.

Emotional Abuse and Grey Divorce

Abuse includes any behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure, or wound someone.

In an emotionally abusive relationship one spouse has too much, maybe even total control over the other.

In an emotionally abusive relationship, one spouse manipulates the other using methods such as criticism, intimidation, or bullying.

The victim can do “nothing right.”.

If the victim is a woman, she must watch what she says, wears, or does out of fear of reprisal while her spouse may have specific rules that she must follow or there will be conflict.

Domestic Abuse? What does it look like?

Does your partner…

• Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family?
• Put down your accomplishments?
• Make you feel like you are unable to make decisions?
• Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance?
• Tell you that you are nothing without them?
• Treat you roughly – grab, push, pinch, shove or hit you?
• Call you several times a night or show up to make sure you are where you said you would be?
• Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you?
• Blame you for how they feel or act?
• Pressure you sexually for things you aren’t ready for?
• Make you feel like there is “no way out” of the relationship?
• Prevent you from doing things you want – like spending time with friends or family?
• Try to keep you from leaving after a fight or leave you somewhere after a fight to “teach you a lesson”.

Do you…

• Sometimes feel scared of how your partner may behave?
• Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner’s behaviour?
• Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about yourself?
• Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?
• Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?
• Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you broke up?

If any of these things are happening in your relationship, talk to ORB Lawyers because without help, the abuse will continue.

Making that first call to seek help is a courageous step.

If you are the victim, you should always remember NO ONE deserves to be abused.

The abuse IS NOT your fault.

You ARE NOT alone.